None of the above: An endorsement

You may have heard that we are facing an election. Let's review the major parties:

The Conservatives. To their credit they haven't governed too badly, mostly keeping the country going in a straight line from where the last administration left off. But two things are deal breakers for me. First, where's the vision? In trying to convince everyone that there's no hidden agenda, they seem to have jettisoned any coherent agenda at all. One has the sense of the Prime Minister in his office, gleefully moving tiny action figures around a huge map of Canada as he thinks up clever political tactics to deal with the issue of the day. Second, where's the credible environmental plan? This is probably the most important international issue of the decade, and Canada risks being on the outside looking in. So no vote for you, Mr. Harper.

The Liberals. Let's put aside the whole "Dion's a nerd and a weak leader" thing, and put our focus exactly where Dion wants it: on the environment. I have plenty to say about the plan itself, but I will restrict myself to this: Canada signed the Kyoto accord in 1997, and ratified it in 2002; both of these events took place under Liberal leadership. To 2005, at which time Canada remained under Liberal leadership, Canadian CO2 emissions had increased over 1990 levels by 26.6%, a larger percentage increase than even the non-signatory United States, and second-worst (to Spain) of the 36 countries for which Kyoto required CO2 reductions. For Mr. Dion, who was the goddamn environment minister from 2004-2006, to be using climate change as a campaign plank is hypocritical in the extreme, and automatically makes his environmental plan not credible. No vote for you.

The NDP. Sorry, but every time Jack Layton opens his mouth I feel like I'm being sold a used car. No vote for you.

The Greens. I was actually thinking about voting Green this time around. Then this happened. See under "Liberals". No vote for you.

The Bloc. Not running a candidate in my outside-of-Quebec riding, so I couldn't vote for them even in the unlikely event that I wanted to. No vote for you.

By the cold, calculating process of elimination, "A Random Process" is proud to endorse: None of the above.