None of the above: An endorsement

You may have heard that we are facing an election. Let's review the major parties:

The Conservatives. To their credit they haven't governed too badly, mostly keeping the country going in a straight line from where the last administration left off. But two things are deal breakers for me. First, where's the vision? In trying to convince everyone that there's no hidden agenda, they seem to have jettisoned any coherent agenda at all. One has the sense of the Prime Minister in his office, gleefully moving tiny action figures around a huge map of Canada as he thinks up clever political tactics to deal with the issue of the day. Second, where's the credible environmental plan? This is probably the most important international issue of the decade, and Canada risks being on the outside looking in. So no vote for you, Mr. Harper.

The Liberals. Let's put aside the whole "Dion's a nerd and a weak leader" thing, and put our focus exactly where Dion wants it: on the environment. I have plenty to say about the plan itself, but I will restrict myself to this: Canada signed the Kyoto accord in 1997, and ratified it in 2002; both of these events took place under Liberal leadership. To 2005, at which time Canada remained under Liberal leadership, Canadian CO2 emissions had increased over 1990 levels by 26.6%, a larger percentage increase than even the non-signatory United States, and second-worst (to Spain) of the 36 countries for which Kyoto required CO2 reductions. For Mr. Dion, who was the goddamn environment minister from 2004-2006, to be using climate change as a campaign plank is hypocritical in the extreme, and automatically makes his environmental plan not credible. No vote for you.

The NDP. Sorry, but every time Jack Layton opens his mouth I feel like I'm being sold a used car. No vote for you.

The Greens. I was actually thinking about voting Green this time around. Then this happened. See under "Liberals". No vote for you.

The Bloc. Not running a candidate in my outside-of-Quebec riding, so I couldn't vote for them even in the unlikely event that I wanted to. No vote for you.

By the cold, calculating process of elimination, "A Random Process" is proud to endorse: None of the above.

He should have picked Tina Fey

In the past 14 U.S. presidential elections, the ticket with the shorter name has won 9 times, while the ticket with the longer name has won only four times (once the tickets were equally long). So I'm calling it for Obama/Biden (10 characters) over McCain/Palin (11 characters).

Those nine elections for the shorter ticket were:

1952: Eisenhower/Nixon (15) beat Stevenson/Sparkman (17)
1956: Eisenhower/Nixon (15) beat Stevenson/Kefauver (17)
1968: Nixon/Agnew (10) beat Humphrey/Muskie (14)
1972: Nixon/Agnew (10) beat McGovern/Shriver (14)
1980: Reagan/Bush (10) beat Carter/Mondale (13)
1984: Reagan/Bush (10) beat Mondale/Ferraro (14)
1988: Bush/Quayle (10) beat Dukakis/Bentsen (14)
2000: Bush/Cheney (10) beat Gore/Lieberman (13)
2004: Bush/Cheney (10) beat Kerry/Edwards (12)

The four for the longer ticket were:

1960: Kennedy/Johnson (14) beat Nixon/Lodge (10)
1976: Carter/Mondale (13) beat Ford/Dole (8)
1992: Clinton/Gore (11) beat Bush/Quayle (10)
1996: Clinton/Gore (11) beat Dole/Kemp (8)

The remaining ticket was:

1964: Johnson/Humphrey (15) beat Goldwater/Miller (15)

Hijinks ensue

On the morning of Monday, September 1, the Republican National Convention kicks off in St. Paul, Minnesota.

On the afternoon of Monday, September 1, Hurricane Gustav will make landfall on the US Gulf Coast.

Where will Gustav hit? Well, according to this forecast, the center of the forecast track is bearing down on New Orleans. How's that for convention optics?

How not to teach

A case study in how a professor should not behave in the classroom. Strictly this was a debate competition, but the principle holds. (Caution, lots of swearing.) [via Gawker]

Brave new world

Brain in a jar controls robot remotely. (A few neurons from a rat fetus ... hooked up via bluetooth ... but still.)

I'm not sure if I would be more creeped out, or less, if the rat brain were actually on board the robot.

On Blue 22

My comment on this article:

Arguments against Blue 22 tend to be specious, and those made in this article [are] no exception.

- “only 17 percent of travellers departing from Pearson originate in the downtown area” — I’m not sure where you got those numbers, so I can’t look it up myself, but I’ll bet that downtown is by far the largest single origin/destination for Pearson passengers. It’s also home to an increasing number of people, myself included.

- “SNC-Lavalin intended to charge $20 for a one-way ticket, which would price many out of the market” — First, an air ticket is a premium luxury good, usually purchased by the (relatively) affluent; it makes no sense to give flyers a government subsidy on their transit trip to the airport, and I’m happy to make them pay. Second, if you hang around the airport a lot, you will observe that families (who would not benefit from Blue 22) make up a small minority of flyers. Third, I’m sure the executives of SNC-Lavalin are smart enough to lower the price if they can’t fill trains at $20, or offer family passes if need be.

- “There are several options that should be studied instead of Blue 22″ — Have you ever used Chicago’s blue line? Or London’s Picadilly line? In each case it takes about an hour to get downtown (not including wait times), which is wearying after a long flight, and frustrating after a short one; this is not a compelling option for business travelers, who will simply take taxi. Further, light rail is already going to the airport, via the Eglinton TransitCity line.

- “The advantages of [a rail shuttle] solution include providing a station at Woodbine Racetrack where VIA trains from London, Kitchener and Guelph could gain direct access to the airport” — If your objective is to provide connections with VIA and GO, why not do that at Union? It’s already the largest transportation hub in the region, and it makes no sense to duplicate that function at the airport — especially since the arguments in favor of London, Kitchener, and Guelph ignore points east and south of Toronto, such as Oshawa, Kingston, Hamilton, and the Niagara region.

- Finally, and most importantly, there’s no reason why your suggested routes — which, as you point out, complement an express route rather than replace it — can’t also be built. You talk of “putting the cart before the horse”, whereas it is more like sticking your thumb in the eye of the cart vendor, because you don’t have a horse yet. Given the progress of transit construction in this city, the alternatives are decades away at best, while Blue 22 is ready to go right now and has the backing of government. Rail to the airport is a major missing piece of transportation infrastructure, and it’s time to take the solution that is available. One can turn your argument on its head: if regional, non-express services are still needed, they can be built later.

The weather on Mars

At the site of the Phoenix lander, anyway: Sunny, with a high of -26 C.

[CSA via Environment Canada Weather Office]